How to Preserve a Husband

Be careful of your selection. Take only from those who have been grown in a good moral atmosphere. Choose slightly matured-not too young, as the taste may not be exactly what you expected. {it takes a good few summers to produce the best fruit}.
When selected, do not keep them in a pickle, or hot water, this tends to make them sour, hard and sometimes bitter. Instead rinse them gently, as required, in a warm solution of love and kindness, with a few spoonfuls of fun and even a sprig of adventure to flavour the end product.
To prevent the fruit from rolling off your working space, hedge it round with caring thoughts and words of encouragement. I advise adding a dry towel of praise sprinkled with genuine admiration, to mop up any drops of resentment that may have formed if you have been careless in the way you handled the fruit.
All harvestings may not yield the same sort of fruit, so be careful not to use the tool of comparison when asking about others’ recipes or methods of use. This may cause you to forget how good your last years’ crop tasted.
Most varieties can be made sweet and tender by garnishing with patience, well sweetened with smiles and flavoured with kisses to taste.
Then wrap them in a mantle of charity. Keep warm with a steady fire of devotion and serve with the sweetened cream of gratitude. When thus preserved they will fill your larder shelves with gladness and keep for many, many, years!

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