Tea towel inquiry

I’m tired of tea towels that wipe the dishes
only once,
and against my wishes
get all wet and floppy.
That makes me quite stroppy!

SO
I’m writing to the Minister for Dish-Drying! I want him to set up an inquiry immediately into the facts of tea towel construction.
It’s no use him saying the cost is too high and the budget too low!
He {I know it’s a he, because a she, if in that position, would have had an inquiry under way seven years ago. I don’t want to be sexist here but I can confirm that more women dry dishes than men. And that more men than women are needed in the shed as soon as the dish mop is brandished. That info was taken from one of my latest dry polls.}

As I started to say, he needs to know that not every woman has a dishwasher in her kitchen, especially if she is waiting for him to be it!
I am not some dried-up [oops, what an expression] complainer, who wants to toss in the towel [oops again!]I just want to clean up[can’t keep on apologising?] a problem, and tidy everything away [hmmm]after I am finished!

So, is the problem that water is getting wetter, heavier, more soaking?
Or can it be that tea towel material is being sourced from the old discarded shirts of the Minister himself?
I ask this because he claims to have have been to the races many times and to have never lost his shirt, therefore I fear that he knows where all his shirts are: in our tea towel drawers!
Is that the reason he refuses to reply to my requests for action to be taken on the subject? I suppose he is getting a good return from all the shirts used for that purpose.
If this is proven to be true then I shall personally sit on the front steps leading to his office, wrapped in one of his flimsy shirty tea towels and then we will see some action I am sure!
Signed: T Toweller

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